Monday, November 15, 2004

Bunny Prudery

From the UK paper, The Sun: If this doesn't signal the end of the world, it ought to:

CHILD protection crusaders hit out yesterday over plans to teach girls as young as 11 how to pole dance.

Ex-dancer Sarah Davis promoted £7-an-hour lessons on a website, saying they could help "increase sexual awareness" and "spice up your private life".

The 36-year-old, from Birmingham, denied the idea was sleazy.

The 36-year-old, from Birmingham is an idiot. When we say pole dancing we don't mean skipping around a maypole, we mean the kind of poles found in strip clubs--the kind naked girls dance around. Now snuggle bunnies love a beautiful lady as much as the next fellow, but we must at least insist that the ladies have reached the age of majority!

If I may say for the record: pornography and strip clubs are overrated. They're like watching food or staring at other people eating while you yourself go hungry. You don't to satisfy your own appetite you just make yourself hungrier when you could be combing the aisles of your favorite dive--the grocery store. You find that special someone, maybe her name is Marie Callander or if you're into a little experimentation you can take home two at the same time like Aunt Jamima and Mrs. Butterworth.

"Hiya ladies, how you doin? Mrs. Fields' is feeling like Desperate Housewives tonight?"

So you get them home to your place and everything is set up from the Wesson oil to the whip cream. You feel the soft buns in you hands, the nice tomatoes, and then you...and then you...

Excuse me, I'm going to go make a sandwhich now.


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